"Ewww, his hand is all sweaty! Icky!"

- TheNole

"Now lead your partner, the dirty ol' thing;
follow through with an elbow swing..."

- Glorified

"Your mom was great!"

- Marshall

"If I don't say anything, he'll never
know it was me that farted."

- UGABrewDawg

"Bastard."

- ttwwpp

"Here's the c-note we promised. Nice game, dog."

- El Tigre

"Yeah, we lost - but I'm still taller than you!"

- brad

"I know I would have played better if
my eyes weren't stuck to the right!"

- terpswin

"When do we get some of that Nike cash for
wearing these stupid swooshes on everything?"

- rocketsdad

"Psssstt... Take these, and
you'll forget all about it."

- GOCATGO

"Should I kick his butt now, or later?"

- Ellis

"Gitchee, gitchee, gitchee!"

- Byting Gobbler

"Thank God I finally got to touch the hand of a
player that actually touched one of my passes."

- Ed

"My wallet!"

- Big Al

"Kickers...What a joke!"

- Captain Caveman

"Missed field goals...dropped passes...damn
those Gamecocks!! Givin' us the bad mojo!!"

- Bartman

"Thanks for not sacking me again."

- Clarence

"#32 likes Blaire; here's $100 bucks to kick
his ass! That SFFB babe is mine, damn it!"

- Brad

"Your skin's so soft; isn't that Vaseline
Intensive Care lotion just great?"

- Luke

"Here - pull out my liver, dude!"

- MATTHEW L.

"Yo Dawwg, how do I get out of here?"

- Denver D

"So what? We have superior academic standards
and a higher graduation rate than you!"
(Rod Smith's Handbook of Lame Excuses for Sucking, Chapter 3)

- Spicoli

"Greene? Green with envy is more like it."

- warhead