"Not so fast, my friend. How about
a bottle of wine, a few nude paintings
...you know...to get in the mood."

- Don Westbrook

"Ricky Martin tries out for the
Tarheels since his career has stalled."

- Spicoli

"Which way did he go?
Which way did he go?"

- Mike

"And just as I was about to make
the tackle, the LORD appeared!"

- Kevin Hawkins

"Easy killer, we just met."

- wilk

"Upon further review, the pass
is ruled incomplete. Though the
receiver did retain control of the
defender's 'head', he was still juggling
the 'ball' as he went out of bounds."

- rb

"You had me at 'Hello'."

- Ben F

"Look, Ma; no hands!"

- Rick Brower

"The ball or head?
The ball or head?
...This is so confusing!"

- Wild Willie